The news in brief (Dec 2010)
Our fearless leader Anna Bligh got some front page space today. No longer will parties accept bribes from big business. To ensure that every major party gets its fair share of graft and corruption, bribes will now be paid directly from the public purse. Naturally this excludes minor players like One Nation, which are horrible in that they insist on representing the views and wishes of their constituents, which is unacceptable when those constituents hold opinions the incumbent government doesn’t like. Paying bribes directly out of the public purse will improve government by freeing those involved from the need to provide something in return.
“We are not beholden to Joe Public,” said Captain Bligh, “and private taxpayers can’t hide behind elaborate tax shelters. So why should we answer to private enterprise?”
“What?” she went on to say. “The shelters I mention depend on loopholes were for use by retired cabinet members, their friends, families and immediate business associates. They weren’t intended for general corporate use and we are considering legislation designed to limit eligibility. Of course it would be better to go national. Then we could simply print our own money.”
A number of ass-kissing editorial pieces suggested that this is a small price to pay for democratic government. Wonderful, I say. When are we going to get one?
All of them conveniently forget that what we have is neither democratic nor representative. I know lots of true believers will argue this, saying that no party will do things likely to galvanise a counterreaction. But this isn’t true. Both major parties have a well documented history of taking the opportunity to impose unpopular legislation whenever they expect a change of government. This proves beyond doubt that politicians prefer to impose their own will than do the will of their constituents.